worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
