i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
