The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
