hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
The Olympian is in my bed
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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