where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I have post one night stand depression
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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