I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
