Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
what day is it and did you see me today?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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