If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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