dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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