If i come over, it means nothing
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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