You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
