The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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