She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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