That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize