I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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