i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
