I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize