If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
