is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
