there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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