She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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