New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
