I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
