So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
