apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
