i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
