hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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