Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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