i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Pants are for mortals
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
