You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
