Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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