I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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