Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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