I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
