Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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