My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
