Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
