At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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