I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize