Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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