I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
