Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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