dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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