yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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