and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
