I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
