i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
