May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
