Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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