Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
two words: eviction party
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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