I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
