Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
