I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Randomize