I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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