the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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