i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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