I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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