I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
