My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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