Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
