So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Randomize
