he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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